Never Knew I Needed

Kinda scared to let love in but....

"Forget the risk and take the fall. If its wat you want, its worth it all."

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I've had a total of 7 hours of sleep in the past 2 nights; it might be all the school work that I've been doing or maybe its the change in weather, but my visions been cloudy.

In my efforts to clear my vision, I've been exploring the endless possibilities of answers to all the questions I've been asking myself. But at the end of the day, I've realized I will never find the answers by just sitting here and pondering. I won't find it by asking other people's advice.

Answers come to you by action. If you're looking for the answer, go out there and get it. I'd love to do just that but the thing is, I've been scared to.

I'm not scared because the answer might be just full of disappointment or shy of my expections ; because honestly i'm expecting the worst..but I'm scared because it might be everything I want. But you see, I'm scared to let love in. Because once upon a time, I had a fairy tale love but some good things come to an end. But all things that come to an end leave room for something better to come along. I haven't been able to completely love and let love in, until now--but I wonder, is it too late? As cliche as it may sound, it's better to lose your pride to the one you love, than to lose the one you love because of pride.

So do I forget all the risks and take the fall? But like I said, I've been scared to let love in.

The rain called for blogging...

“The truth is, everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for...”

Chaos

My mind is wandering all over the place.

Supposed to be working...

I'm supposed to be working but everyone on my team has left for the day so I'm kinda getting sidetracked. Haha. I'm so happy its the weekend! This has been a loooong weeek. I got two A's this week that I am sooo happy about and want to celebrate! =)

Tonight, I'm trying to decide whether to go back to vallejo or not. AMA (the association i am an officer in) is holding a dodgeball tournament at Sky High sports, its trampoline dodgeball! I'm trying to get some friends come to sac (which is hard to do) so they can come cuz its all free! Oh well we'll see. If no one wants to come then I guess i'll go back to vallejo..and probably do nothing!

Oh gosh i'm getting even more sidetracked i'm looking up flights to NY haha. its so cheap if i just buy it right now! I'm looking at the first week of june since i obviously have to work and have summer school.. should i book it? or $49 on tickets to la! hmmm i just wanna travel everywhere in the world..

i should prolly get back to work now haha this blog was kinda a buncha nothing!

Adjusting.

I'm having a hard time adjusting back into the groove of things. School and work again! Uhgh, spring break messed me up! I only had to work on the Monday of my spring break and I was off the rest of the week. It was a vacation well needed! I had tons of fun in long beach, la, and disneyland. It was actually the first time I really took a vacation from work! But man oh man, I came back and realized that I have two tests this week and two tests next week! Snap! Hahaha. I panicked. The test I have on Wednesday is like the craziest class I've ever taken. i hate it! Business law is no joke. I don't know how I'm supposed to get through this. Thursday I have a test in my PR class, it shouldn't be that bad. At least i'm off from work on Friday for Good Friday. I get to go home early and go to church!

I also just realized I haven't blogged in ages, not that anyone cares haha. Its so hard not having a laptop. I might just get a mac. Damn, it would be my third laptop. Horrible. But I seriously don't even have the funds for it at allllll. We'll see. I needa shake off the spring break and seriously get my mindset right. Only a few more weeks till school is done so I better do well on my remaining projects and tests. Oh dear...

Oh Gee.

Not what you think.


the end.

Sore.

My BODY, is sooore! I love it! Last week I signed up for 24 because I figured I have time to actually work out this semester since I'm taking 4 classes, not 5. Well I must say, it feels good to work out again! I'm about to go to the gym again. I'm so excited. I needed to work out cuz ya girl is getting a lil chub chub. Haha :)

I totally need something new in my life, my life has been boring me a little bit. Haha. I always like change. So the gym works out perfectly! It also helps me take out out my anger cuz I have some stored in this little body of mine sometimes. I've been getting so aggravated these days for reasons i must keep to myself haha. I whipped out my bible yesterday and started reading. I felt a tad bit convicted because I haven't read my bible in a long time. But it felt good to start reading again. I hope I can keep it up.

On another note, march is here! time is flying i must say....time to go to the gym now. Love you all!

Midterms

I had 4 hours of sleep last night, and I have two midterms today. I already knocked out one, and another i have in about an hour and 22 minutes, that I know nothing about! God, please help me!

I'm afraid I'll just fall asleep at work today.. haha. Ash Wednesday today though! Church at 730 since i get off at 5pm. Am I even making sense right now? I dont even know. My eyes are stinging cuz I'm so sleepy.. blaaaahhh.


heeeeelllpppp.

Waiting.

SONG: "WAITING" BY NE-YO

new exclusive track done by ne-yo. Jayar told me about it, we always exchange our good finds in music. I thought i'd share it with you guys. Download it, or peep it on youtube. There should be a couple videos of it with the lyrics. I think its a really nice song.

This song can be interpreted in many different ways. It can be waiting to be reunited with a loved one that has passed, waiting for someone to come back to you, or waiting for someone to be yours. Either way you interpret it, I think anyone can relate to this song one way or another. We've all had to do some waiting in our life. There's a lot of things i'm waiting for, with patience of course. But mos definitely, God will reveal everything to us eventually.

On another note, i'm here studying for two tests i have on wednesday. Not cool. Its for my business law class (booorrrinnngg) and buyer behavior. Buyer behavior is pretty cool, analyzing the reasons behind our purchases as consumers. I think that test will be kinda easy but my business law class, ohhhh heeeeyyylll. I'm scared! I just have to focus, I guess. I don't think I'm going to go to my PR class tomorrow and just study all day tomorrow till I go to work.. haha. We'll see though.

Anyways, I'm really enjoying blogging again. I hope I don't get too busy where I can't blog anymore. Thats what happened with xanga.. hahah omg i was reading my old posts and daaamn.. blasts from the past for sure! it was fun haha. K well imma get back to studying. I'm just sitting at a table at school by myself.. loooser.. well cuz my friends went to go get food haha. Whatevs ...DEUCES!

"If You're Not The One"

Song by Daniel Bedingfield. A truly beautiful song that I've adored for years. Passion did an acoustic version and posted it 4 days ago on youtube. And i totally cried..i just love this song so much. Passion did a good job.



I cried for multiple reasons. One being its a beautiful song in and of itself. I cried listening to the lyrics because its also beautiful to know how people find "the one". I'm still searching...but I know I will know when I do. Maybe I've already found him and don't know it but I know God will help reveal himself to me, or yet alone open my eyes. I'm enjoying my road to discovery and I know life will slowly come into place. Ew, I'm crying again because i'm playing the song right now haha. Its sucha nice song! Don't laugh =(

Love is a beautiful thing.

Paper Cut.

-I just got one at this moment
-I have to study this weekend for my two tests next week
-I dont know what i'm doing tonight
-I need to poo
-Today, I woke up feeling weird and off
-Right now, I still feel weird and off
-I'm hungry
-I keep checking my phone for no reason
-I can't even be on this website right now
-My mind is boggling, and no i didn't drink any coffee today in case your wondering why i'm so random right now
-I just typed December on an account review, when its February, wow.
-I went to a guest speaker today and he was the founder of Kinko's, he was hilare.
-I want to get off work already even though I have a lot to do
-I'm about to start an account review that has 7 accounts ,and one is a BNW account with hecka mutual funds! totally not cool.
-I want to get married today, haha not. ur funny
-But I do keep thinking about marriage, i'm not weird.
-Lent starts next week , idk what I shall be giving up yet
-Hi, Bye.

i miss someone, but i'm not telling you who.

Cracked out.

So i'm here at work, my second home..and I'm not supposed to visit websites but I feel so hyper and I dont care haha. Right before work, I bought a starbucks vanilla frappuccino, the bottled ones. And now I feel cracked out. I knew this was going to happen. Everytime I drink coffee or anything of that sort (except coke which has no effect on me surprisingly), I get all wired! I dont like the feeling.. but I guess I'm going to have to deal with it for now. At least I'm working at lightening speed on these account reviews I gotta get done. Hahaha. Thats all for now. Have a splendid day.

Just cuz...

its one of my favorite's, ever... the choreo to the keyshia cole song "fallin" is on point.. i never get tired of this video haha.. pretty random post but man, i miss dancing.

Happy Sunday!

Oh sundays, I love. My day to just chill with the family. I woke up pretty late today (oops) but its okay. Went downstairs and saw all the food my dad has been cooking. My stomach growled just about when I saw the food. Haha. Today my family is going over to my uncles house to celebrate his birthday, hence all the food. I also saw all these clothes sitting on the couch and to my surprise, they were all mine! Mommy hooked it up and did my laundry, yay! I ate lunch with my popsters, since my mom didn't want to eat just yet. Then headed back upstairs and got into a lil text frenzy with claude pod. Poor thing, he got so drunk last night and was still at Drew's house. Haha. Then got a call from Jaz. Her valentine's day story was totally. So happy for her =)

Shortly after that, I got ready for church. Today's mass was with baptisms too! I love it when its baptisms. Its so cute seeing all the lil bebe's as we all clap when they are presented to the church. Some cry, some smile, some were asleep but are awakened by the holy water pouring over their bodies. Babies are so cute. Haha.

Really strange but for some reason in church, all I kept thinking about was MARRIAGE. Yeah, marriage. I really don't know why? I think it was something about the babies everywhere and the fact that these two proud parents created such a blessing (some married, some not) and how I can't even begin to imagine how it feels. It was a strange feeling for me. At one point I almost wanted to cry because I thought of how beautiful it is to be married. And then I started imagining my wedding day (i know, i'm lame) and I dont know if I could make it through without crying! I imagined myself walking down the aisle just crying the entire way. Hahah I'm so lame. This is sad even blogging about it but hey! I'm a hopeless romantic okay! I just hope when that day comes, I will be standing at the altar with someone who I undoubtedly cannot live without. Oh it will be beautiful =) I'll end my blog on that note... cuz im probably going to go ponder some more about it. HAHA

Have a wonderful weeeeeek =)

Be Yourself

"Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken"

...and so i shall be...

a fatty!

I thought I would start my first blog with a quote that I stumbled upon the other day while browsing the school bookstore; followed with a picture of what I think definitely demonstrates a part of me haha. This picture was taken by a fellow AMA officer of mine. I thought it was funny. Anyways, I thought I'd give this blogspot a try even though I don't have much time for it. I figured it could be a helpful outlet for me to get away from all my everyday stresses. But I dont have a laptop anymore so I don't know how I'm spose to blog! Oopsie, I'll figure that out later. This post won't be as meaningful or full of knowledge, just a quick introductory post!


Well, gotta get back to the life of chaos. I'm at school right now trying to study. Obviously that isn't working out too well. I'll manage.

Always,
MAC MICH